LJ Idol Week 7: Steadfast

[tonithegreat]

Time to get back to work. I turn from the window and stand between my dual monitors, fingers on the keyboard. It’s been a long morning already, but my mind is cleared and it’s time to hit the next task on the todo list. First let’s make sure urgent e-mail hasn’t come in.

Nope just ads. I’m not sure what kinds of lawyers can afford all of these CLE conferences, but they aren’t my kind. Wait a minute. Is this even a CLE? The Global Resilience Summit. Resilience. Does that have to do with sustainability specifically? Is resilience an environmentally slanted term now? I mean, it should be. Long term, it certainly is. Resilience of humanity is 100 percent linked to resilience of our big blue ball and all of its big systems, so many of which we’re treating as if they aren’t closed loops. Which will ultimately be to our detriment, if we can’t find large scale balance.

I read the short bios of the speakers for this summit which is kicking off in a week or so at, of all places, the Breakers in Palm Beach. I cannot tell from the bios whether they will be talking about environmentalism or how to keep businesses running in a drastically changing world. Maybe the topics all run together at some level. Maybe they run together better if you’re hobnobbing at the Breakers.

Is resilience the new haute desirable trait for our endeavors and our best selves? It does seem that it’s been in the news of late. Give your children grit. It will see them through better than other traits you can gird them with. But can it? Isn’t it just the ability to endure? Shouldn’t we instead be building a world where we don’t have to ask the things we love most to just endure? To be steadfast against the dark, there must be darkness. But is that we want to aim for? Is this a sign of the times?

***

Driving north, racing to a getaway, to my bliss
Halfway up the state of Georgia the Slanted sun rays take on a different, more wintry aspect
The homes beside he road look cozier, like I’m heading into real northern autumn’s heart

But Home
Florida never sleeps- never really slows down for cozy winter
Is that why it’s hard for me to slow?
Hard for me to find a rest phase sometimes?

Am I just railing against the inevitability of the cycle?

***

At 8:15 AM, I get a call on my cell. A state number. My phone doesn’t recognize the extension, though. I knew today was going to be exciting, but on Wednesday, I don’t typically go in until 9:00. There is so much happening now. I’m not sure I can even guess the project or case that’s blown up. Deep centering breath.

“This is Toni.”

“Mom, I’m sorry, but I’m really not feeling good.”

Of course. The school is run by the university. They have state numbers too.

“Wait, what? Jassie, I just dropped you off. I’m not even to the office yet! Are you with the nurse?”

“Yes, she says I’m not running a fever, but. . . I really might throw up. I’m sorry.”

It’s an awkward conversation. I’m angry and I half-wish the nurse had sent her back to class. But I’ll be there in a minute even though I don’t have any extra minutes today. She’s got enough grit. This is her first sick day of 4th grade. At some point I’ve got to let her start managing her own energies.

—/////

Tonithegreat hopes you enjoyed this, her second entry of the mini-season that was finished in an airport with little time to spare! 2018 has been a great year for travel, at least. It’s been quite a season for steadfast grit, too.

Comments

[murielle]

I love your description of driving to your getaway. I'm all about cozy.

These bugs that are sweeping NA are just plain ugly. Hope your girl is okay soon, and that whatever crisis at work was solvable.

(I know it's not ideal, but finishing Idol entries in airports just seems so cool to earthbound me.)

;-)

[tonithegreat]

It would feel cooler if I’d managed to polish things more. There’s so much going on now! But I’m trying not to be in complaint mode. Life is pretty rad and my sweet Jas bounced back, too.

[murielle]

I'm so happy to hear your Jas is feeling better. I hope things settle down for you. I understand feeling like you're not able to do your best work, but your work is SO good.

*Hugs*

[rayaso]

Oh the stress of being a lawyer -- an early morning phone call, and it must be because a case has blown up! Plus all the continuing educations demands, and then a sick child. It must be hard to make all that work.

[tonithegreat]

It’s an adventure! But I’m hopeful that I remain steadfast through it.

[the_eternal_overthinker]

I hope the kid is feeling better. I loved the middle paragraph and I could relate to it so much because Mumbai never sleeps and I have got so used to the fast paced life and multi-tasking that sometimes I don't feel peaceful/restful.

A slice of life entry always works for me :) Take care <3

[tonithegreat]

Thank you! She is indeed feeling better and looking forward to her big tenth birthday this weekend.

[static_abyss]

Here's to hoping you get some nice and well deserved relaxation soon.

[tonithegreat]

I just had a wonderful weekend away from it all for my birthday! Timing could not have been better. Thank you.

[bsgsix]

So much stress! I hope you get the chance for a break soon - it would be well-deserved. And I hope the travel has been decent, too. I've done a lot of that this year as well, and find that being in the air keeps me grounded (truly). :)

[tonithegreat]

You know, I totally agree with you about air time helping keep one grounded! It’s even better than driving for contemplation within oneself!

[halfshellvenus]

So much excitement and anticipation, and then that reality bites hard.

They're more than worth it, but kids are their own agents of chaos. :)

[tonithegreat]

So true! Such chaos! But it’s still the best. I just had a weekend away and I can’t wait to hug them when I get back home.

[wolfden]

Sick kids are the worst. The baby has spent the last two days with a stomach bug.

[tonithegreat]

There is a lot of that going around, it seems. I’m greatful it hasn’t hit us hard yet.

[bellatrixe]

Your pacing in this really set the atmosphere perfectly! I hope you get to relax soon!!

[dmousey]

Endurance is a wonderful thing. 🐭🐁✌😊

[flipflop_diva]

Oh, no, poor baby! I hope she is on the mend by now.

And I hope you get some time for relaxation! Travel can be amazing, but it can also be so exhausting (especially when finishing entries in airports!!).

[onecheapdate]

I love the contrast here of the stresses of work and the stresses of being a mom. I hope you get some much needed down time soon! I could feel the tension in your writing as if I were experiencing it too. Good piece, especially for airport writing haha!